The other day my wife asked me how i became so damn good at making love. i told her she should thank all the women that came before her!
As a married man, when i say i lasted all night, what i'm trying to say is that i slept continuously without having to wake up in the middle of the night to pee!
My wife fucked me for 6 good hours yesterday. who would've thought that the divorce process would take such a long time.
One day a wife of a hunter found him with his lover. she took a gun and aimed it at her husband's testicles. hunter: stop! don't do that! it's unfair! you don't give me a chance to save! wife: ok, sway them to and fro.
On the very 1st night after the wedding, the young builder to his wife, "you have cheated me. your boobs are too small. and i definitely remember when i saw you for the first time they were pretty big". the wife curtly says, "honey, what you saw included 'super area'. and what you get now is actually 'carpet area'!"
Playboy is planning coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. every month the centerfold shall be the same woman!
There is love without sex and there's sex without love. and then there are we married couples without both!
He proposed marriage because she promised she will make him try different positions. now he is a husband, driver and cook!
A couple gets married, and thirty years later they're in the same hotel, in the same room. she takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed, and spreads her legs. her husband starts to cry. she says, "what's the matter?" he says, "thirty years ago, i couldn't wait to eat it. now it looks like, it can't wait to eat me."